surface feature fix

Hello my great readers,

We are learning how to fix surface features, surface features are punctuation, spelling and repeated words. This week Mrs T told us to fix some sentences.
Here is an example : thissentsaChulymakessen Zbuttisrellyhrd to reed

Translation : This sentence actually makes sense but is really hard to read.

It doesn't have surface features

On our room 9 writing site our teacher put on a link to a story we needed to fix. We made our own copy. We had to read it once and find the end of the sentence.We would put capital letters after full stops. We changed the sentence after a new idea.

Then we had to read it again and highlight all the repeating words. It sounds better if its not the same word over and over again. One of the words we highlighted was 'he'.

This is not my writing we had to fix it by changing the surface features here it is 

He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed, he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. 

Mum had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. maybe he was one of them looking for revenge, but why would he come? Mum would just move, how did he find us? We live on the other side of the planet from where all of mum’s boyfriends were so how could he find us? He might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devices.

“Hello where are you? I know you're here, you're going to tell me where your mother is or you shall join your father in the skies. so which will it be, death or freedom, you have ten seconds, so choose wisely.”

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writing prompts

Greetings fellow life form,

I am made ya a blog post about my grandads birthday it didn't actually go this way.

It is my grandads birthday party. He is turning 60. As I walk into the party I see balloons, orange cake and more orange cake. Tony stark came along 3 minutes later with his iron man suit. My parents tell me to go get everyone for a photo I go get everyone and then I get tony i set the camera to take a photo in 5 seconds “5 ,4 ,3 ,2 ,1 ,click.” 

I realise that I forgot my presents for Grandad, mum told me to get them but my house is a mile away

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the symbiote scientist part 1

Hello readers,

I am making a book for you guys and there will be more but for now just this part.

Here is my story.

At work, Luke gets an unusual assignment to make a type of poison, when a stranger comes along in The middle of the night and puts the poison into the shark propellant. Luke is running late to work that next day and has to take the bus instead of walking,when he got inside he had found out that the poison has been poured into something else, Luke is scared Because he thinks the poison has been put into the shark propellant, Luke had done Some math and has done some research and found that if it blew up it would make Zombies. He also was very angry at the person who did this and was going to get his revenge. The next morning he woke up early to start a meeting and didn’t let anyone get out until they told the truth and it turned out everyone said “No One did this”. After that they all went to their laboratories. Luke's lab was a crime scene.

The police officer found out that the person was a known criminal for doing this stuff messing up houses making bad formulas, joe crust he used to be the best scientist in the world until he made a clone of himself which turned out to be a bad guy, when he left his lab he started acting weird that's when he made a clone of himself so he could still work and the clone would bring back money for him every day So he could eat food and buy food to eat. when  the clone turned bad and took the money that the clone got let Joe die with hunger. He felt Sorry for Joe, he wanted to bring him back. Then he had an idea not a very good one though it was bringing him back from the dead he went to the graveyard and went to Joe crust’s grave and dug a hole in the dirt and broke a hole in the box and poured the toxin inside the box A hand came out a very squishy old hand but luke wasn’t scared he loved old people even the oldest kind then he climbed out of the grave and said “thank you but i never got your name”. he groaned, “luke said can i be your friend” “yes”  when a giant portal opened in the sky and “a a a a big giant monster we're all gonna die"!                                    

                                                                            to be continued

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Word Of The Week Bemused

Hello and welcome to my blog post,

Today's word is bemused, bemused meanes: puzzled or confused.

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My Narrative Writing Promt

Kia ora my awesome,

This week me and my class have been working on putting language features into narratives.

I have made a narrative with language features in them.

here is my narrative

1. Onomatopoeia  - ‘Bang’

2. Metaphor - “You are the sun!’

3. Personification “The clouds danced across the sky.”

4. Hyperboles - “I was so embarrassed I would have stuck my head in the toilet to hide.”

5. Alliteration - “It was time for super Sunday sports.”

6. Dialogue - “Don’t move,” Ellenessa whispered.

BANG! She tries to bowl him, the enemy doesn't budge. The john is as heavy as a cow and as the bull jewellery.I couldn't bowl him over. I tried to use my magical power but it didn't work.I go get another magic jewellery and find my cousin, my jewellery has one minute left until i turn back into myself.

7 hours before I had never thought this would happen.

VROOM! Robot aliens mind control the strongest person in the world I go Hide somewhere where no one can see me I say the magic words that makes my ring power up “Selena Scales slither” and I go up and fight the bad guy, but he was too strong and I tried to find the Guardian of the magic jewellery. he said “find a companion to work beside you on your adventure to defeat those aliens” I get the bull hair brush and I find my cousin and give her the bull hair brush she says “jazz horns charge.

We chase the bad guy around and Riley chases him until he runs out of energy, I run up to the bad guy and use my special Powers I say “ Venom bite”  I run up to him with my special weapon that powers up when I say  venom bite, I run up to him and the fangs on my weapon bite him and paralyses him so he stays in one place then 

We grab the alien ship it is tiny so I knew the aliens must be tiny I take their gun and brake the line of mind control  we save the day after all and we throw the aliens back into space where they came from and we save Christchurch for one more day. But it snot all over yet we need a space koami so we can go into space to defeat all of the aliens that are trying to mind control our civilization. 

Thank you for reading my blog post

My Student Summit Experience

Hello my exotic readers,

I went to the students Summit. You are probably wondering what student Summit is, well student Summit is a place where you get to share a learning app in front people from different schools.

My partner thought it was not good but I thought it was amazing. I had one rotation it was the second session but there were four sessions, I had to wait one session for me to do my presentation.

Thank you for reading this blog post hope you have a nice day.

word of the week creative

Hello my awesome readers,

As you know I have been posting word of the weeks to you since term 1

Word of the weeks are never ending until I move over to high school

Here is my image

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my writing promt

Hello and welcome to my incredibell blog,

For writing me and my class have been learning about language features language features are special effects like in movies.

We are learning to put language features in sentences act tells us we have to write two sentences then a language feature and then two more sentences and so on.

I highlighted the sentence

 

Thank you for reading my blog posts and hope you have a great day