Today I am going to tell you about my narrative writing,
This is my writing.
The USS Enterprise of earth zooms at warp 8 Into the galaxy of Umato.
Captain Picard is sitting alone at a table in the deserted cafeteria.
It's Lunch time and he's sitting and thinking what will happen next.
Captain Picard stands up and leaves the cafeteria for his quarters.
Suddenly Worf calls Commander Riker and Captain Picard over their
intercoms from the bridge. Worf taps his intercom
“Commander Riker and Captain Picard you are needed on the bridge”.
Captain Picard and Commander Riker walk to the bridge “Sir the romulans are
attacking,”Worf said in a very deep voice. “Sir their hailing us”. “on screen”
he says. but then the Romulans ship starts shaking and loses control, The
enterprise lets lose their tractorbeam and beames the captain of the Romulans
aboard.
Captain Picard is sitting alone at a table in the deserted cafeteria.
It's Lunch time and he's sitting and thinking what will happen next.
Captain Picard stands up and leaves the cafeteria for his quarters.
Suddenly Worf calls Commander Riker and Captain Picard over their
intercoms from the bridge. Worf taps his intercom
“Commander Riker and Captain Picard you are needed on the bridge”.
Captain Picard and Commander Riker walk to the bridge “Sir the romulans are
attacking,”Worf said in a very deep voice. “Sir their hailing us”. “on screen”
he says. but then the Romulans ship starts shaking and loses control, The
enterprise lets lose their tractorbeam and beames the captain of the Romulans
aboard.
Looking forward to this story Sean
ReplyDeleteGreat plan, showing where/who the characters are and what will happen in the story. As a bit of a Trekkie fan myself, especially the Next Generation, I look forward to reading what they will do in your story.
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DeleteHi Sean!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your blog post from the moment I opened it.
Your dramatic greeting adds a lovely flourish to your post.
It looks like you have put a lot of time and effort into your writing today! I enjoyed reading through your retelling of this Star Trek moment and am impressed with your use of dialogue. I can see that you are clearly organising the narrative into its structure ( different parts). Well done.
Next step: What happens in the climax? Is there a standoff between the Romulans and the Captain? Does anyone get shot with the phaser? This is a section that could be developed with action and description!
Hope you are having fun with your writing!
:) Miss D
Good evening Labels,Jellyspoons and Sean, in a galaxy far,far away...Mrs Cassidy left a message.
ReplyDeleteThe ship is going down,there are pieces falling off.Out the window I can see a large dark shape appearing in the distance.
Sean,I look forward to seeing how your story will end.Have a great week.
Very cool so far Sean
ReplyDeletePlease tell me its not finished........I need to know who the Captain is that they beamed aboard. Was he a Romulan? Or another Federation Captain? Do they ever sign a Peace Treaty for the Alpha Quadrant, or or we all doomed to be at war forever?????
Will check back in on Stardate 2020.114. Or as the locals call it, tomorrow!!! To see if you have shared any more blogs.
A good story Sean.There are lots of good comments above which I love but I am just going to give you a grammar hint. Those pesky words their,there and they're!! 'Their' hailing us means 'they are' which would be they're.I hope that helps a little. Keep it up, I'm looking forward to the continuation.
ReplyDeleteYes it's me again
ReplyDeleteAwesome pointer from Diane. Homographs are like the Romulans, waiting round the corner to attack your spelling - here/hair/hare/heir fort/fought.
They sound the same, but you/ewe have to/too/two know/no which one/won you need/knead for/four your sentence.
Hello Sean.I was just checking to see if you had added any new work to your blog.Since it's Friday,there aren't many hours to go and the school day will be finished.I hope you have a great weekend and make sure to have some fun time.Take care.
ReplyDeleteGlad you saved the Romulan Captain, Sean.
ReplyDeleteLooks like we may have peace after all.
Maybe we can again, go on discovery missions and....... boldly go where no-mans gone before.
Hello Sean.Just wishing you a happy week.I can't wait to see what other you have been working on.Take care and keep safe.All the best.
ReplyDelete