Today I have a very good story to show you,
I have been working on this narrative for 3 or 4 days I hope you like it we have been learning to make a strong narrative wecan describe the setting it has to be descriptive, believable and consistent we turned boring sentences into descriptive sentenses, and I posted this on Thursday June 4
We have also been writing about a girl called Anna
The Mirror in the Attic
She had found it lying alone, deserted, abandoned in the attic. After making the discovery, Anna had gazed and marvelled at it for some time. Where had it come from? Why had no dust settled upon it, as it had done over everything else that resided in her attic? A layer of the thick dust blanketed the attic floor, and as the sunlight shone through the attic windows, the dust particles yet to settle were illuminated as they hovered in the stuffy air. Yet, the mirror looked flawless, untouched by age, not a finger print in sight.
Anna propped the mirror up against one of the thick, timber beams that jutted from the attic floor. Settling down into a comfortable position, she tentatively placed a finger against the glass and her hand went right through. When she got to the other side she was made of blocks. Then she realised she was in the game she always played blockstarplanet. She made a world made of mansions. and another two girls appeared in the mansion. one was called Riley and one was called Anna She explored the mansions and found a remote and a TV.
THE END!
Thank you for reading this blog post If you liked this post please comment.
Hello Sean.
ReplyDeleteCan you tell me what part of this story is your writing?.I have read some other blogs and realised that they added some words to a piece of writing they were given.I might catch up with you tomorrow if I get a chance and talk with you.
Hi Sean
ReplyDeleteWow, great writing!
Your use of adjectives was very powerful. I could actually imagine being in the acttic just like it was a picture or part of a movie. Some really good emotion words too, they made me feel a little bit lonely and abandonded too.
I was also amused that when she found two other girls in the new world, one of them had the same name.....small world!!
Did she have to stay in the block world or could she get back out thru the mirror?
Would have enjoyed a couple more paragraphs describibng the block dimension thru the mirror, it seemed to finish really quickly, but was great to read another exciting imaginative adventure.