surface feature fix

Hello my great readers,

We are learning how to fix surface features, surface features are punctuation, spelling and repeated words. This week Mrs T told us to fix some sentences.
Here is an example : thissentsaChulymakessen Zbuttisrellyhrd to reed

Translation : This sentence actually makes sense but is really hard to read.

It doesn't have surface features

On our room 9 writing site our teacher put on a link to a story we needed to fix. We made our own copy. We had to read it once and find the end of the sentence.We would put capital letters after full stops. We changed the sentence after a new idea.

Then we had to read it again and highlight all the repeating words. It sounds better if its not the same word over and over again. One of the words we highlighted was 'he'.

This is not my writing we had to fix it by changing the surface features here it is 

He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed, he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. 

Mum had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. maybe he was one of them looking for revenge, but why would he come? Mum would just move, how did he find us? We live on the other side of the planet from where all of mum’s boyfriends were so how could he find us? He might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devices.

“Hello where are you? I know you're here, you're going to tell me where your mother is or you shall join your father in the skies. so which will it be, death or freedom, you have ten seconds, so choose wisely.”

Thank you for reading this post feel free to comment.

writing prompts

Greetings fellow life form,

I am made ya a blog post about my grandads birthday it didn't actually go this way.

It is my grandads birthday party. He is turning 60. As I walk into the party I see balloons, orange cake and more orange cake. Tony stark came along 3 minutes later with his iron man suit. My parents tell me to go get everyone for a photo I go get everyone and then I get tony i set the camera to take a photo in 5 seconds “5 ,4 ,3 ,2 ,1 ,click.” 

I realise that I forgot my presents for Grandad, mum told me to get them but my house is a mile away

Thank you for reading my blog post

the symbiote scientist part 1

Hello readers,

I am making a book for you guys and there will be more but for now just this part.

Here is my story.

At work, Luke gets an unusual assignment to make a type of poison, when a stranger comes along in The middle of the night and puts the poison into the shark propellant. Luke is running late to work that next day and has to take the bus instead of walking,when he got inside he had found out that the poison has been poured into something else, Luke is scared Because he thinks the poison has been put into the shark propellant, Luke had done Some math and has done some research and found that if it blew up it would make Zombies. He also was very angry at the person who did this and was going to get his revenge. The next morning he woke up early to start a meeting and didn’t let anyone get out until they told the truth and it turned out everyone said “No One did this”. After that they all went to their laboratories. Luke's lab was a crime scene.

The police officer found out that the person was a known criminal for doing this stuff messing up houses making bad formulas, joe crust he used to be the best scientist in the world until he made a clone of himself which turned out to be a bad guy, when he left his lab he started acting weird that's when he made a clone of himself so he could still work and the clone would bring back money for him every day So he could eat food and buy food to eat. when  the clone turned bad and took the money that the clone got let Joe die with hunger. He felt Sorry for Joe, he wanted to bring him back. Then he had an idea not a very good one though it was bringing him back from the dead he went to the graveyard and went to Joe crust’s grave and dug a hole in the dirt and broke a hole in the box and poured the toxin inside the box A hand came out a very squishy old hand but luke wasn’t scared he loved old people even the oldest kind then he climbed out of the grave and said “thank you but i never got your name”. he groaned, “luke said can i be your friend” “yes”  when a giant portal opened in the sky and “a a a a big giant monster we're all gonna die"!                                    

                                                                            to be continued

Thank you for reading my blog post please comment.